Ok, you dads, let's say you have a teenaged daughter who borrowed the credit card for one purchase, then used it to run up a huge balance buying the "latest things" that she convinced herself she couldn't live without.  Once she got into the delightful rhythm of buying anything anytime, not really thinking about anything but the joy of spending, she didn't want to give the card back.  "Just one more day, dad!  I'll be careful!"  How could you refuse?  But after that first week the bills were staggering.  The second week balances that were only terrible turned astronomical, and you insist that she give the card back.  Now she won't.  Perhaps she can't.  What would you do?

There seem to be two schools of thought on how to proceed.  One way is to call the credit card company and stop the card.  Then, tell the girl that the only way to put things right would be to get TWO jobs and work until the balance is paid off, even if it takes a year or two.  The other way is first to go along, then ignore, then finally when your wife insists you do something, tell the girl that you'll make a deal with her.  If she will just begin to curb her spending -- not stop altogether, just make a reduction of, say, 2% a year -- you will call the credit card company and ask them to raise the limit on the card so that she can continue to spend.

Why would anyone choose the second course of action?  Perhaps we think the pain of the cuts will be too hard, and the daughter will have to suffer too much.  (was it a gift you gave her, or a right?  That will go a long way to helping clarify things.)  We might also think we dads are partially to blame anyway, because we didn't raise her right, or gave her the card before she was wise enough to use it.  (sound condescending?)  Or, we might be tempted to take this second route if we knew we were planning to divorce her mom and move away soon, leaving the girl and the debt with mom...

For him who has ears to hear...